8: Blind Date
What Cast Members Blair and Steve had to say about the episode:
Blair: I think Altea was the prettiest town in Spain.
Steve: 'Cause you were there.
Blair: They had sangria and Frigo!
Steve: Frigo is the best ice cream in this entire world!
Blair: Solid chocolate chunk wrapped in a caramel coating dipped in chocolate.
Steve: It's almost as sweet as all of our female fans on the message boards.
Blair: Good one! You're kind of a legend on the message boards.
Steve: I'm folklore…Steve-lore.
Blair: Yeah, no one's ever seen you, they've just heard of you.
Steve: I'm Sasquatch! Hey, my time will come.
Steve Loses Driving Privileges
Steve: OK, I had my license taken away two days before the dates and I was really upset because I wanted to rent mopeds for the date. Being the excellent driver that I am, everyone trusts me when navigating through rough terrain, small children, etc. Everyone helps whoever is driving the RV when we're going through tight spots--someone will get out of the RV in the front and stop traffic to make sure we're clear on all sides--especially when Adam's driving.
Blair: Adam thinks we get out of the RV to help him, but we really get out of the RV for fear of our own lives.
Steve: But no one helps me because they trust me.
Blair: You hit a parked car, dude! That's like tripping over the cord of a cordless phone. You ass-slapped another car with the RV.
Steve: Well, all I can say is that something was wrong with the Earth's rotation that day--the stars weren't aligned right or something and the gravitational pull on the back of the RV was much stronger than it normally is
Blair: Yeah, I'd say. I'm sitting there eating my broken Cocoa Pebbles, and I guess because the "world was out of whack" I feel a huge jolt--much like Ellen and Adam laying in bed together making the "noises."
Steve: The RV took the brunt of this gravitational pull and threw my driving off--I couldn't control the RV and lightly tapped another car.
Blair: Dude, you destroyed Le Car.
Steve: It was Le Crap. It's worse than a Geo Metro!
Blair: Yeah, you really did them a favor!
Steve: Then I decide the best thing to do is flee the scene…
Blair: And you leave me with Ellen! But it's always fun to watch Ellen speak Spanish.
Steve: It's even more fun to watch a huge RV try to flee the scene…needless to say, it didn't work. I was only planning on writing a letter that said, "Sorry!" and leaving insurance info. But the guy who owned the car came outside and was a bit angry. He was cursing.
Blair: So Ellen and I are standing there and the cops show up and the local news crews are there. It was really weird to have all those cameras around. I don't know how all those people on reality TV shows do it.
Steve: The police came and I had to fill out an insurance form. Once you have one accident on the show, that's it--they revoke your license. We got in about 40 accidents but that was the only one where the police was involved. Adam broke a ton of side-view mirrors.
Blair: Yeah, he took one of them home as a souvenir.
Blair: This doesn't happen often...it's a rare moment for me. I'm going to shut up and let Steve talk. Think of this as the "Steve-o-logue."
Steve: As everyone knows, I'm completely disappointed that I have to go on a date with a Hawaiian Tropic bikini model.
Blair: How dare MTV.com hook you up with a swimsuit model?!
Steve: But, I feel that I have to take one for the team so I'll make do and go out with her.
Blair: Someone has to date the hot one, Steve.
Steve: So, she was selected to do so. Hahaha! And her name's Amy, I think. Just kidding. Anyway, I'm already a half hour late to pick her up. I'm sweaty as hell (because Adam took me to the wrong place) and I'm running around the entire complex barefoot because Blair has my shoes. In the meantime, I pick every wildflower I can find. When I get there, I have something for her--a Winnie the Pooh stuffed animal who is holding a bunch of wildflowers and a Blowpop.
Blair: I didn't waste any time buying bears or picking flowers…'cause I was on time for my date and didn't have to kiss ass. How late were you?
Steve: A half hour.
Blair: I made the greatest first impression of all, I showed up on time…and called her by the wrong name--negating all the good that I had done. Calling her by the wrong name was not the right thing to do. I was kind of worried about my date because I had a girlfriend during the taping of the show. (I would just like to stress that "had" is a past tense word. I am single now and I like the ladies. Can I buy you a fish sandwich?)
Steve: Why do you quote the worst movies ever?
Blair: What do you want me to quote, Gone with the Wind when I'm talking about the ladies? I have to quote Ladies' Man. Anyway, I was kind of worried because I had a girlfriend back home. I wanted to be a good date, but I knew I couldn't be the normal super-flirtatious touchy-feely Blair.
Steve: He's only like that around me.
Blair: I was so worried about being faithful to my girlfriend that I didn't study up on my date's bio. Keep in mind, the only female contact I've had is with the three girls in the RV. So in typical "Blair-I'm-a-dumb-ass-last-name-withheld-for-MTV-purposes" fashion, I proceed to call her by the wrong name. Yeah, if I took yoga, I'd be able to put my foot in my mouth. I pretended like that was the name that was given to me and I think that she knew that I was lying, but she could tell I was so embarrassed already, she let it slide.
Steve: If any of you ladies want to see Blair redeem himself by going on a date with him, call him at [MTV moderator deletes phone number].
Blair: But all nervousness was lost when she reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out a beer koozie. Being on Road Rules has taught me to make quick decisions. That's when I decided to blow all of our money at the bar.
Steve: Was she an alcoholic?
Blair: No, but I am. And now, ladies and gentlemen…I give you Steve.
Steve: It started off really cool…Amy is really shy so she was asking a lot of questions about me. And I love talking about myself so I thought she was the perfect date. We go into this little quaint chateau for dinner and I have to order everything in broken Spanish (which I do quite well, actually). She asks me to order for her and I ask her if she's ever had duck before and she says no. So, I order duck. I never ask her if she wants it or if she likes it.
Blair: Yeah, I heard that's what you tell girls in the bedroom.
Steve: You should know, you're the only person who caught me.
Blair: Oh, another story, another time.
Steve: Anyway, I thought I ordered the duck…but apparently my Spanish isn't as good as I thought it was because when the food comes, it's beef, not duck.
Blair: Meanwhile, my date and I are drunk.
Steve: So, I start having small talk with her. I ask her if there's anything she wants to tell me, and she says yes, that this is actually her first date ever. So I ask if she was in a convent.
Blair: She might as well join one if she goes on a first date with you…'cause how will any guy ever compare after Steve.
Steve: She proceeds to tell me that she had a boyfriend for six years and she had dated him since she was 15.
Blair: Meanwhile, my date and I drink some more.
Steve: I say, oh , so that's why you broke up, because you became kind of like an old couple…and she says no, and I keep asking her why they broke up and it leads up to "the moment" when she reveals that they broke up because her boyfriend died. The silence that followed was a lot longer than it looked on TV. The kryptonite was not working. I figured I wouldn't have to talk if I ate, so I ate all my food…then I ate all of her food (she wasn't eating it because she thought it was duck).
Blair: What time was this?
Steve: Around 9:00.
Blair: Oh, that's when my date and I were drinking.
Steve: After I was done with both meals, all the loafs of bread, and the gum under the table, I figured I would have to say something else. So I ask, "What do you like to do?" She says, "Read." Oh, I think, that's something in common because…well, I can read. Then I ask her, "What do you like to read?" Then she looks at me and says, "the Bible." More uncomfortable silence ensued.
Blair: Speaking of reading, my date and I were still drinking.
Steve: I thought to myself, what would Blair do in this situation? Drink! So we proceeded to drink two bottles of wine. That's when things got good.
Blair: By good, do you mean naked?
Steve: I'm not saying anything else.
Blair: Part of the rules to this mission is that we had to have our dates home by 11:00.
Steve: I dropped Amy off at 10:56.
Blair: We dropped our dates off at around 11 and decided that we wanted to drink more, so we went back to pick them up about an hour later. We all went to a bar and got trashed. And what happened after that cannot be spoken of. Considering the fact that MTV is not a "premium channel" and you can't buy it in four-hour blocks. I remained faithful to my girlfriend, but Steve pulled a Lewis and Clark and explored his date a little more.
Steve: Well, I'd never been to those sand dunes before.
What MTV had to say about the episode:
Things lighten up a bit for the next mission. The Road Rulers must each go out on a blind date with an individual chosen through MTV.com with a chance to win money on their dates. Everyone is stoked except for Sophia, who is terrified of dating. Katie and Ellen get all glammed up and Ellen vows to "get wasted" while on her date.
Oddly enough, Sophia has the most successful date of the group. She and her blind date enjoy a romantic Italian dinner and spend the evening talking and laughing. Her date even buys her a gift the following day as a remembrance of their evening together. Katie informs her date early on that she has a boyfriend, which kills any chance of romance. Ellen gets the reward for the most entertaining date. It starts off pretty well, until Ellen fulfills her promise of "getting wasted." After one too many "vinos," Ellen starts tripping and giggling. On to the guys...Adam doesn't take long to turn into his goofy self. His date seems thoroughly entertained by the entire evening. Blair's date is pretty uneventful. And poor Steve learns a hard lesson about interviewing your date. After asking what happened to his date's ex, he is not prepared to hear that her ex died two years ago. The next morning, the Road Rulers are graded by their blind dates on their performance. Everyone gets high scores except for Ellen, which isn't a surprise to anyone.
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